Frequently Asked Questions about Private Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation costs and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of services they include and individual case complexities. My services are $300 per 1 hour session and $450 for the completed document needed to file with the court.  Every private mediator has his/her own fee structure, but the average total cost of a divorce when mediation is utilized is generally between $5,000 and $7,000. 

Who pays for private mediation is up to the clients to decide. Given both spouses benefit from the mediator's guidance and expertise, most couples choose to split the cost of mediation services equally. Although, on occasion, one spouse may choose to pay for the total mediation fee. Regardless of who pays, one mediator is far less expensive than two attorneys. Typically if each spouse hired their own attorney, they'd be individually responsible for those costs. 

Cooperation Versus  Competition 

In litigation-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective lawyer to represent them in court. The two lawyers typically argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each attorney has an ethical duty to be a zealous advocate for their client. Unfortunately, this adversarial posturing encourages each person to view the other as "the enemy" making it even more difficult to settle divorce issues and promotes further alienation. Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, contentious, expensive and takes a long time to complete. 

In contrast, the mediator doesn't "represent" either client, rather they work with the clients collaboratively. The mediator works to establish an atmosphere of cooperation and has an ethical duty to remain impartial and to serve the needs of each person involved, including any children. A professional divorce mediator is a neutral third party who does not take sides and will not give legal advice. Instead, the mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their settlement agreement. In mediation, there is no battle to defeat "the enemy",  as the divorce mediator's goal is to help the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize their children's best interests.

YES, if any of the following are true:

• There has been a history of abuse or intimidation between the parties.
• One of the parties is used to being in control and making all of the decisions.
• One or both of you may have a hard time giving their ideas or opinions in mediation. This could happen if one of you is less comfortable using English, or if one of the parties has more experience negotiating.
• The health or safety of one or both of you might be put at risk by mediation.
• You don’t yet have all the information you will need to make informed decisions. If this is true, it might be too early to try mediation.

YES, even if the divorce was initially processed through litigation, changes can be made through the mediation process. Once both parties agree to the changes, the mediator will draft a document with the modifications. Then it is submitted/filed directly with the court for adoption to the initial agreement and then becomes legally binding.